Work is a great blessing. It not only provides income, but also purpose, community, exercise for your brain and body, and more. However, you have touched upon a sickness that exists in most major cities in America, not just the DMV. I worried about our culture and am I glad you have found an alternative in Spain.
Russel, great reflections. I identify a lot with your story. I used to be a social media editor for a major newspaper in Brazil, working all day and many weekends, with a certain status in the company and in the professional market, until one day, at 31, I realized that 1) I wanted more quality of life; 2) what exactly was this status?; 3) I didn't want to work in person, at least not 4 days a week. I quit my job and rebuilt my life on a nomadic journey, working remotely and traveling, spending a month in various cities in South America and Europe. The other day someone asked me, "but what is your philosophy of life?" and my answer was, "to be able to experience local life previews in various places around the world, to know the many lives we can have in this world." After a year and a half without a home, I am beginning a process of slowly putting down roots again, but in a completely different life: I don't intend to give up travel or remote work. I loved getting to know your story.
God. This is the story of my life. It unfolded more in Beijing than DC but had the same allure: power, influence. After a while, it all got so hollow.
The connection between home prices and education is interesting. Americans actually have such a good public education curriculum. I’ve had a chance to compare it to that of other countries and the Common Core Language Arts standards (the backbone of the overall curriculum) are a work of art. Whoever designed them did an excellent job. But of course, the legacy of American history gets in the way of delivery. Socioeconomic issues intervene. Education isn’t delivered in a vacuum.
These beliefs that somehow high tuition fees = superior education are just…a lie. Often, private education is lower quality because the teacher is less qualified (as they do not have to meet state requirements), but the quality is masked by superior resources such as smartboards and ipads. If Americans could just grasp the notion of a collective good that may require individual sacrifice, they might actually have public services that make sense.
I really enjoyed these reflections. It’s like getting a look at a life I could’ve had, so it’s interesting to see that we ended up in the same place, mentally, around the same time in our lives.
I was surprised to read that you're from NM since I'm from DC/Bethesda. I traveled some and wound up in Albuquerque. Found you after googling "Digressive Amplitude". Good reads.
I’m laughing because your essay is so depressing I feel like jumping off a bridge. You couldn’t have painted a more accurate and bleak picture of American big city life. Every adult there was once a kid who couldn’t understand that lifestyle choice. And yet there they are, unable to escape. Appreciate your reflecting.
This was my hesitation writing this for so long — I know it's a depressing portrait, and I still have many friends in the area who are crushing it in their careers. It's just not for me, the whole thing.
And yet the number of likes confirms that the stronger the emotions the writing evokes—pleasant or unpleasant—the more we respond. Especially topics where “everyone” feels it yet “nobody” is talking about it. All that to say, I appreciate your writing. Keep sharing.
"But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life."
That Hunter S. Thompson guy knew what was up.
"By the time I left, I’d come to understand that living in the DMV was a good way to become a slave to the hustle, the competition for status, the pressure to earn more and more, and the ambition for the next promotion"
And you, sir, also know what's up.
I feel like I got caught up in a digital version of the DMV and I'm slowly extracting myself from it. I was chasing the wrong stuff for me at this point in my life.
This is exactly why I exited, stage left, with a PhD in hand, for a life of my own design—trading “security” for the opportunity to leverage my credentials and skills to explore this beautiful world. You’ll never regret stepping away and choosing your heart. 💦
Commenting here re: your linked piece about becoming disillusioned from activism.
I had the same experience, but was burnt out in only two years of nonprofit work. I realized the same things: there were our stated goals and our actual goals, and they had little in common.
If a goal truly united the different departments, it was to get us media exposure so we could raise more money -- the fundraisers to pay for fundraisers infinite loop.
Would love your insight about what comes after. I attached much of my value to "doing good" and am rather listless without this aim, however spurious it was.
Yep my experience exactly with several nonprofits —
When I moved to the private sector it was refreshing to have everyone at the organization be so clear about what the goals were, and how we were all being measured. That was when I really started to detach my work from my personal fulfillment (which also has its downsides, but for me it was important). I started pursuing other interests, filmmaking, writing, re-committing myself to climbing, because that nonprofit D.C. job was no longer consuming all my time and mental bandwidth, nor was it occupying the "meaning" slot in my self-conception.
Anyway, "doing good" is the drug all organizations sell you so they don't have to pay you as much, OR because a certain generation is obsessed with the idea that work should = meaning. My advice is to detach those to things, pursue what excites and interests you, and live as cheap as possible until you can figure out the money part.
Yes, I think I'll also make the jump to the private sector when I discover how to sell myself into it. Measurable goals and clearly communicated expectations seem like paradise in comparison.
I greatly appreciate your advice, it is beyond invaluable to me to have insight from someone who has escaped the brainwashing and is doing well on the other side. I will be picking up "The Pathless Path"!
We also recently left the DMV, not necessarily for your reasons, but your perspective was fascinating nonetheless.
I felt the allure you were speaking of, but did feel like I could sometimes zig when everyone else zagged. Maybe I even enjoyed feeling like I was a little different because I tried not to get caught up in the rat race. I could be outdoorsy and prioritize a work life balance despite living in a large metro.
However, my kids are very young, and didn’t get exposed to any of the stuff your kids did. That seems like the biggest reason to change environments. You might develop the tools to extract yourself from the culture around you, but kids might not.
Yea I did that for a long time also... tried to zig when everyone else was zagging. Ultimately, in the end, it was just too far away from the mountains and ocean, as I wrote. D.C. can't help it.
Work is a great blessing. It not only provides income, but also purpose, community, exercise for your brain and body, and more. However, you have touched upon a sickness that exists in most major cities in America, not just the DMV. I worried about our culture and am I glad you have found an alternative in Spain.
Russel, great reflections. I identify a lot with your story. I used to be a social media editor for a major newspaper in Brazil, working all day and many weekends, with a certain status in the company and in the professional market, until one day, at 31, I realized that 1) I wanted more quality of life; 2) what exactly was this status?; 3) I didn't want to work in person, at least not 4 days a week. I quit my job and rebuilt my life on a nomadic journey, working remotely and traveling, spending a month in various cities in South America and Europe. The other day someone asked me, "but what is your philosophy of life?" and my answer was, "to be able to experience local life previews in various places around the world, to know the many lives we can have in this world." After a year and a half without a home, I am beginning a process of slowly putting down roots again, but in a completely different life: I don't intend to give up travel or remote work. I loved getting to know your story.
God. This is the story of my life. It unfolded more in Beijing than DC but had the same allure: power, influence. After a while, it all got so hollow.
The connection between home prices and education is interesting. Americans actually have such a good public education curriculum. I’ve had a chance to compare it to that of other countries and the Common Core Language Arts standards (the backbone of the overall curriculum) are a work of art. Whoever designed them did an excellent job. But of course, the legacy of American history gets in the way of delivery. Socioeconomic issues intervene. Education isn’t delivered in a vacuum.
These beliefs that somehow high tuition fees = superior education are just…a lie. Often, private education is lower quality because the teacher is less qualified (as they do not have to meet state requirements), but the quality is masked by superior resources such as smartboards and ipads. If Americans could just grasp the notion of a collective good that may require individual sacrifice, they might actually have public services that make sense.
I really enjoyed these reflections. It’s like getting a look at a life I could’ve had, so it’s interesting to see that we ended up in the same place, mentally, around the same time in our lives.
Thanks for reading Leah -
I was surprised to read that you're from NM since I'm from DC/Bethesda. I traveled some and wound up in Albuquerque. Found you after googling "Digressive Amplitude". Good reads.
You know you're niche when people find you by googling "Digressive Amplitude." ;)
Thanks for reading—
I’m laughing because your essay is so depressing I feel like jumping off a bridge. You couldn’t have painted a more accurate and bleak picture of American big city life. Every adult there was once a kid who couldn’t understand that lifestyle choice. And yet there they are, unable to escape. Appreciate your reflecting.
This was my hesitation writing this for so long — I know it's a depressing portrait, and I still have many friends in the area who are crushing it in their careers. It's just not for me, the whole thing.
And yet the number of likes confirms that the stronger the emotions the writing evokes—pleasant or unpleasant—the more we respond. Especially topics where “everyone” feels it yet “nobody” is talking about it. All that to say, I appreciate your writing. Keep sharing.
"But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life."
That Hunter S. Thompson guy knew what was up.
"By the time I left, I’d come to understand that living in the DMV was a good way to become a slave to the hustle, the competition for status, the pressure to earn more and more, and the ambition for the next promotion"
And you, sir, also know what's up.
I feel like I got caught up in a digital version of the DMV and I'm slowly extracting myself from it. I was chasing the wrong stuff for me at this point in my life.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks Amy!
You’re welcome Russell!
This is exactly why I exited, stage left, with a PhD in hand, for a life of my own design—trading “security” for the opportunity to leverage my credentials and skills to explore this beautiful world. You’ll never regret stepping away and choosing your heart. 💦
Commenting here re: your linked piece about becoming disillusioned from activism.
I had the same experience, but was burnt out in only two years of nonprofit work. I realized the same things: there were our stated goals and our actual goals, and they had little in common.
If a goal truly united the different departments, it was to get us media exposure so we could raise more money -- the fundraisers to pay for fundraisers infinite loop.
Would love your insight about what comes after. I attached much of my value to "doing good" and am rather listless without this aim, however spurious it was.
Yep my experience exactly with several nonprofits —
When I moved to the private sector it was refreshing to have everyone at the organization be so clear about what the goals were, and how we were all being measured. That was when I really started to detach my work from my personal fulfillment (which also has its downsides, but for me it was important). I started pursuing other interests, filmmaking, writing, re-committing myself to climbing, because that nonprofit D.C. job was no longer consuming all my time and mental bandwidth, nor was it occupying the "meaning" slot in my self-conception.
Anyway, "doing good" is the drug all organizations sell you so they don't have to pay you as much, OR because a certain generation is obsessed with the idea that work should = meaning. My advice is to detach those to things, pursue what excites and interests you, and live as cheap as possible until you can figure out the money part.
Also have you checked out Paul Millerd's The Pathless Path book? Recommended.
Yes, I think I'll also make the jump to the private sector when I discover how to sell myself into it. Measurable goals and clearly communicated expectations seem like paradise in comparison.
I greatly appreciate your advice, it is beyond invaluable to me to have insight from someone who has escaped the brainwashing and is doing well on the other side. I will be picking up "The Pathless Path"!
We also recently left the DMV, not necessarily for your reasons, but your perspective was fascinating nonetheless.
I felt the allure you were speaking of, but did feel like I could sometimes zig when everyone else zagged. Maybe I even enjoyed feeling like I was a little different because I tried not to get caught up in the rat race. I could be outdoorsy and prioritize a work life balance despite living in a large metro.
However, my kids are very young, and didn’t get exposed to any of the stuff your kids did. That seems like the biggest reason to change environments. You might develop the tools to extract yourself from the culture around you, but kids might not.
Yea I did that for a long time also... tried to zig when everyone else was zagging. Ultimately, in the end, it was just too far away from the mountains and ocean, as I wrote. D.C. can't help it.